Am I BACK????

After long time, I am hooked on with my earphone on and Indian Ocean churning out the music one by one(ofcourse courtesy: raaga,com).. Well, that's not the point... The point, this is what I was.. well, almost 15 years back.. college days.. Music in ears, smoke in finger tips and lots of lots pointless discussion or thoughts being drawn.. well.. those were days.. And suddenly when I was doing the same thing except the smoke(inside house).. somehow the thought came to my mind.. Have I lost it? Or am I back.. Hang on.. Have I lost it.. or shall I paint it saying.. Well, everyone needs to change and so am I.. But was it really... Did I changed with time (for better or worse) or did time changed me...  There has been atleast 5-7 times in last 15 years, when I thought I WAS BACK but that fizzled away in couple of days.. will it be same this time also... Or AM I BACK, for real this time... But hang on, what I am back to?? The carefree attitude, the radarless guy or am I like a little more guided and precision oriented missile now, which knows the target.... Don't know but this question will stay on mind for sometime, as when we enjoy what we have done previously, atleast the way of doing things, (what we call SETUP in Testing terminology), are we back? Atleast I want to carry the energy which I had earlier.. OK.. atleast let me close it down as Indian Ocean is doing the last song (from album KANDISA) and let me be happy with the thought that I AM BACK..

How about inventing a readymade DECISION Checker???

Life is full of decisions.. Decisions.. sometime its being said as " a report of a conclusion" or "a determination arrived at after consideration"... So basically it comes from what you think and conclude to do after active consideration or in a moment of fit/rage/emotion... But the real game begin when it(decision) tries to manipulate/affect/change the way you live life.. in any sense, it changes you.. for good or for bad.. so how about getting it cross checked against some parameters which indicates good enough way to ensure 100% success.. But alas, nothing has been made till now and never it will come (though I would love to see one).. The reason I can see it can't happen as decisions which seems to be same that 2 persons make, the catalyst is always almost different.. The condition surrounding the 2 situations are different.. And mapping everything is always difficult.. So here comes the kicker? How do I know my decisions are good enough? As no pain is bigger in this world when you feel after sometime, that the decision you have made sometime back is going to make you live with pain for whole of your life... How well it would be if we could have cross-check, re-verify, re-adjust our decisions.. but alas sometime we are time bound and need to go with hunch.. HUNCH.. So is Hunch makes us to arrive at our decisions... Sometime people will say, get over it... U had made a few bad calls, but get over it.. But what happens if again we got to make that decisions... As we know from the movie, YSZ.. HUM KUCH SOCHTEY HAIN AUR YEH SAALI SOCHTI KUCH AUR HAIN .. So basically we can't control what life will dish out to us... So then we got to make the decisions.. Hell God, what do I do now.. do I carry forward the lessons learnt from previous.. or I pass the situation and let the things go by.. Or do I say, suck it up, I will do this and I will do that and then I decide... and then I do DECIDE.. Will I be correct this time? As lessons learnt doesn't guarantee that I will succeed this time.. So does everything boils down to the fact, Your decision, you own the result too.... well we all do that.. sometime maybe we pass on the result to GOD, sometime to human beings.. but taking a hard look inside will make us feel that, I could have made it pass.... But in general, we have been owning all our decisions result... Most of have been good else I wouldn't have been blogging and you wouldn't have been reading this... But then, as they say, Life is leveller.. if one achieve more, then one decision will go wrong and then it becomes QUICKSAND.. U try to come out, then U made one more wrong DECISION.. and then one more.. one more.. U keep sucking in like in QUICKSAND.. and U find U can't move, U can't crawl... Wow, I would have loved that DECISION CHECKER......................

Being Crazy and being in love!!!!!

Well, I couldn't have stopped blogging this... I was watching this very movie in one of the channel and there was one sequence where the guy asked the girl when she was dumping him as what happened? He thought that they were in love.. they had so many good moments together.. She replied saying, yeah, she was CRAZY about him but now she realized that it was not LOVE.. The guy was shell shocked.. whats the difference???? The guy didn't find any reason.. The girl tried to walk him through with different opinion and different reasoning, but the guy just couldn't take it and walked off... That triggered the question in me... wait a second, whats the difference... So here is my thought: Craziness is momentary whereas Love seems to be permanent.. Craziness seems to happen under bizzare circumstances at bizzare places with almost anyone for any of their action.. but love just grows with time... well, craziness might fade away but love mayn't (or maybe)... But at some point of time, we might almost fall for craziness thinking its love... and feel stupid of ourself when we discover it at later point of time, well it wasn't... Yes, sometime craziness and love goes hand-in-hand but that's the most dangerous combination as you never know when craziness will fade away and that makes love a single companion and that's where comparison creeps in and things tends to fall apart.. like you were not like this, you used to do this for that.. but when you are crazy and in love, those all incidents looked very very small and ignorable.. but without craziness, god help the couple... so that's what again brings us to 2nd question, can love survive without being crazy? looks like a chicken and egg theory!!!! you can't be in love without being crazy and you can't be crazy if you don't have love? so what drives what? Craziness drives love or vice versa.. I guess we need a Plato/Aristotle here to help.. :) being said that, I guess I forgot to pen here that I actually catch the movie in between and as such I couldn't gather the name of the movie.. if anyone knows the name, please let me know... And neither I could see the end of the movie as the power went down... Really want to see the end.. what happens?

Running. Running.. Running.. where is the Tape, Dude???

Gush... Its morning again.. Catch some news.. No news of XXXXX(My client) in the paper.. what's happening.. Are they going to stay or sell.. Should I put more efforts on job or should I look for other account... Well.. let me change the channel and watch some MTV... Aaahhh.. Not interesting.. let me read what the Yadav's (Lalu, Mulayam) are upto.. Ahh.. Sanju Baba also in the snap and so is RVP... Its election time.. God.. again I will be work and will miss my fundamental right.. Not missing rather I will be skipping.. Whom do I blame.. my client.. or my job or myself... Well.. Dunno whom to blame so let me suck it up... Anyways.. Nothing interesting in the newspaper.. India is doing well in test match so not much to blame anyone else.. I guess we have become very -ve in our thoughts.. Just need something to put our anger so that we feel comfortable.. Or is it just me??? Summer is really catching up at Chennai... Getting too hot...  A/C are getting costlier.. Even if you have A/C electricity is at premium.. I am just wondering.. Does everything comes togather... Earlier Electricity was cheap.. so was A/C, our salary less but no Global warming... Now with everything on increase.. where is the poor man going to be? Scary thoughts...  Anyways.. I got to go to office.. well.. its Saturday.. working for a comp-off...  Yeah... Hang on.. Anways.. I have got lot of holiday's pending.. even if I beef up the holiday list, when do I spend it... I am running.. But after what?? Looks like I am am running but the end TAPE is not nearby... Dude. I missed my Tape.. or am I running in correct direction... Ooops. maybe not.. But atleast I know the direction to my office.. let me reach there fast..Chennai Summer is killing me... We have a centralized A/C at office.. will think there @Office where is my TAPE??? If you know, then do let me know......

Resilience : Is it curse for Mumbai??

The other day when I heard Shoba De saying that we should stop using that word resilience for Mumbai, I couldn't have agreed more with her. Its just a word which has been used for Mumbai to give a false impression of being something extra-ordinary. But that's not the truth. We all Human are Resilient by nature. There is no city, no human which hasn't been resilient. Nagasaki, Hiroshima, Pearl Harbour, Nanking, Germany, Bhopal, Kaluchowk, Ramapur, Guwahati... Can we say all these cities/places just vanished?? They are there and so will be we (if not mowed down by fire/bullets/speeding car)... The word Resilient has been used for Mumbai because Mumbaikar doesn't have a choice.. We need to move on.. One day if we bring things to halt, the economy halts.. And it effects the fire at the kitchen.. And all of us first look to secure our hunger and then our goals.. I know this might evoke some responses, but exceptions are always there in rules. And Mumbai is paying huge price for the stigma of the word called Resilience... My heart goes for Mumbai when I saw the goriuos event for 60 non-stop hours.. I never woke up so early in morning (except for India playing cricket  down-under ) daily those 2 days to check what happened... To be very honest more than the concern the first day was curiosity to see what happened.. But from second day afternoon, the anger in me to see those in-human being shot to dead had caught up.. Just want to see that Breaking news clipping : All Terrorist shot dead... It came little late but it did came.. And I was feeling happy.. as if India won a match.. then the feeling start sinking, what did we won exactly?? Someone comes to my home and kill my family members and then I kill him and claim victory?? Is that a victory? Was Kargil a victory where we lost Kalia's, Batra's, Nair's.. Why do we end up pushing those brave men in such situation where they have to fight in their own land or inside the homeland.. why are we not nipping the problem(s) in the bud?? What are we afraid of?..

Well, its late in friday evening and I need to pack up...